16.05.1930 – 30.09.2020 

 Fr Joseph Thayil left us on 30 Sept at the age of 90 at Christ Hall Kozhikode. But he leaves behind fond memories in a large number of people who had associated with him.

Fr Joe Thayil, as he was affectionately called, was indeed a guru known for his skill in counselling and guidance. He was trained in spirituality and counselling from the Gregorian University, Rome and Sadhana Institute, Lonavla. Hence, he spent most of his life in the twin fields of religious formation and Psycho-spiritual counselling. For nearly 20 years, he was engaged in the training of young Jesuits - as Director of Juniors, Novice Master, Spiritual Guide to the philosophy students at Shembaganur, and Tertian Instructor. He was a much-appreciated Retreat Director too. His work in the field of Counselling went hand in hand. While being the Rector of Christ Hall, he was also on the staff of the Socio-Religious Centre (SRC). When he moved to Lumen-Jyothis in Kochi in 2000, he continued his ministry of counselling and retreat direction. Many women’s congregations looked upon Fr Joe as a reliable guru and an amiable guide. Many Sisters give testimony to his guidance sessions and personal growth workshops, and they kept visiting him when he became less mobile. Fr Joe had an uncanny talent to untangle even the most twisted knots in human hearts.

As a Jesuit, he also took up responsibility as Superior of different Jesuit houses. He was Rector of Christ Hall Kozhikode twice, and Superior of Sameeksha & RTC Kalady. He functioned as Socius to the Provincial from 1978 to 1984. He has to his credit two books on Ignatian spirituality, ‘Adyatmika Sadhana’ and ‘Antharika Swathatryam’, both in Malayalam.

I met Fr Joe first in 1962 in Christ Hall when he took over as the lone Jesuit staff for us, the first batch of six Juniors of the newly-formed Kerala Vice Province. Just fresh from his theology studies, it must have been easy for him to understand the youngsters, and that may be one reason why all of us have happy memories of our time with him. I have a vivid memory of another occasion too; that was when he came to Shembaganur where I was doing my first year of philosophy. I remember sitting in his room in tears while narrating a hurtful experience of mine during my regency. There I could experience the understanding and caring person in Fr Joe, and I came out of his room consoled and in peace.

In 2018, when he reached 88, he withdrew from active ministry and moved to Sangamam, the house for senior Jesuits. He was concerned about his failing memory, but continued as a voracious reader. When I met him in Sangamam recently, I was pleasantly surprised to notice that his very presence radiated joy and contentment. “It is time to move out and so here I am”, he seemed to be saying.  No regrets, no complaints.

Fr Joe was Programme Director of SRC, Kozhikode, a work he continued for 15 years. There I had the privilege of working with him for over eleven years. Anyone was welcome to his room anytime. I have seen even senior Jesuits coming and meeting him regularly seeking his guidance. Many younger Jesuits would swear that Fr Thayil was their most trusted guide all through their life. They would get refreshed and energized after spending time with him. Both of us worked together as a team in conducting group therapy sessions. I used to marvel at his gentle but firm ways of challenging the participants to look at life differently. He had no hesitation to express his disagreement too when the need arose. Fr Joe was soft-spoken with smiling eyes and a caring face, and always gentle in his ways. He was a real guru but with no external trappings of greatness. That is why people felt attracted towards him. But he was no weakling either. He could express his disapproval when the need arose. He was such a marvel to deal with, and more, to live with. And the wonder is that he maintained a hidden youthfulness till he reached 90. That gave him energy to perform his favourite snuffle dance at age 87 in an assembly of Jesuits. Thank you, Joe, for leaving many good memories behind for our nourishment.

Ephrem Thomas, SJ